Canadians To Eat Roadkilled Squirrels,
Elk & Dear: No, Really!

I am sooooo moving to British Columbia. B.C. is trying to increase their hunter base, and as part of that program, they are going to start allowing drivers to take home dear, moose, rabbits, and Squirrels etc…, that they hit with their motor vehicles. That’s right, if you hit it with your car, you get to eat it.

The plan is to get “City Folk” to realize that their yummy steak used to live, breath and chew it’s cud in a pasture. Once the realization hits that they can get that same yummy steak by just hitting it with their car, I’m sure they will run out and buy a hunting license to go shoot their own squirrel/moose steaks. (OK, I don’t follow the logic here either, but I’m not Canadian. Eh?)

I personally think I would just spend more time driving around in the woods in my truck. I love to eat dear and elk, but I hate wandering through the woods with 10,000 hunters who just bought a new rifle in Seattle or Portland and decided to go to Eastern Oregon or Eastern Washington and try it out. We call these people “Portland Hunters”, and they usually bag 2 or 3 humans each year with the shinny new guns they don’t know how to use.

Also, it is fricken colder that a witches “underside of the cud chewing animal above” in the fall and winter when dear and elk season are on. I would love to be able to just drive around with a beer, I mean “Non-Alcoholic Beverage” in the sunny summertime and whack dear, elk and bear with the front of my truck.

If you really think about it, it would be a whole hell of a lot cheaper than hunting. You wouldn’t need a gun. (Not that you really need a gun now, I hit a dear once, and just backed over it when it tried to leave the scene of the crime. That’s what’s known as a “double tap”.) You wouldn’t need to spend money on a hunting license, ammunition, hiking boots, warm clothes etc… And, if the critter damaged your vehicle, you could always turn it into your insurance company for repairs.

Like I said, I love Canadians…. Here’s the rest of the story.


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