Enter Greytooth:

I don’t like it when my comments are not posted! I went hunting last week with mittens-on-a-string. (The kind that your mom would make you wear as a kid so you would not lose one of them.)

1. Use extra long string between the mittens
2. Place mitten at base of tree with other mitten on your hand.
3. Put peanut in the mitten that is under the tree
4. Hide in bush and wait (A small bottle of whisky helps pass the time)
5. Squirrel climbs inside mitten to get peanut
6. Jump up and pull hard, swinging mittened hand through air, banging the other mitten with the squirrel in it against the tree.
7. That’s it. Simple and effective hunting.
Note: If anyone yells at you while using this method (in the park), this device can second as a slingshot, launching the squirrel at anyone who may be coming at you.
8. Run.

Greytooth’s Effective Squirrel Hunting Techniques: #1