ShootingSquirrels.com

I saw some ground squirrels today, sitting in a field right next to the road. I’m not talking about a road out in the middle of the country, but a road right in town. The owner of the property is holding out for a ton of money, so the contractors in town haven’t built anything on the land yet. The squirrels just sit there, right alongside the sidewalk, while little old ladies and their wiener dogs walk by.

Every time I drive by, I want to pull over, get out my .17HMR and start shooting .17 grain Hornaday ballistic tips into their little furry bodies. But, since it’s in town, and I’d probably have to shoot across a major intersection, I’m talking traffic lights and all here folks, I figure i should set a good example for my kids and not get arrested for any more weapons violations. (Especially remembering what a pain the last one was…)

Speaking of contractors in Walla Walla, after the squirrels attacked the house in January, I finally got everything fixed back up. I went to WallaWallaContractors.com and got a roofing company to fix my roof and facia, and had a fencing contractor fix the fence damage. I even had to have an Electrician from Walla Walla Electric come out and fix some lights that got knocked over in the windstorm. The only thing left is the tree, or what’s left of it, that needs to come out. I’ll probably wait and do that one myself, instead of calling a tree removal company.

On another note, I think I’m going to do a PETA video tonight or tomorrow and post it on youtube. I have about 1 hour of footage of me missing squirrels that I’m shooting at. That should make them happy.

SS

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According to a friend of mine, who was in North Powder, Oregon before the last snowfall a couple of weeks ago, the ground squirrels were up and running around on sunny days, even though it was still pretty cold. So, all you squirrel hunters out there in the Western United States need to start thinking about getting the guns out and sighted in.

On that note, remember that the Surprise Valley, California Ground Squirrel Roundup will be towards the end of March, which is only 4 weeks away, and the Unity, Oregon Sage Rat Shoot will be around the end of April. Check the Squirrel Shooting Forums for phone numbers, contact information and dates for these squirrel shooting events.

Break out your .17 HMR’s, .22 WMR’s, .223’s and 22-250’s people, the season’s almost here.

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I’m back from Mexico, and as soon as I get well, I think I’ll start looking for squirrels to shoot.

Shooting squirrels is way better than sitting in Cancun with 90 degree temps and 99.9% humidity. Sure, Cancun sounds like a good time when it’s snowing and 20 degrees outside, but Cancun’s humidity takes all the fun out of it. Cancun can’t even come close to touching Cabo San Lucas, which is on the Baja peninsula, and is dry.

Here is a list of my current ailments:

• Runny, snotty eyes for the last 6 days.
• Really bad scars from the bad Henna Tattoo I had done on my face… (Could be why the eyes aren’t working.)
• Lungs are full of fluid and I have a bad cough.
• Kidneys hurt so bad I can barely walk or move.
• Wait, everything hurts so I can barely move.
• Queasy.
• Diarrhea.

I’ll write soon…. if I live!

SS

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Story by: Ratk Iller
Walla Walla, Washington 1/11/2008

Squirrels, sneaking in under the cover created by a small wind storm in Walla Walla, Washington, attacked the home of world famous varmint hunter, Squirrel Sniper, on Friday, January 4, 2008.

According to Squirrel Sniper, “the squirrels were riding the wind baby. Pelting the house with acorns, pine cones and their furry little bodies. They attacked today”, he said, “because the wind gave them the added oomph they needed to hit my house with projectiles from their nests in the pine trees out back, which they can’t usually do because they are” and I quote, “too weak and stupid to hit the house on a good day”.

After throwing things at the house for about an hour, they upped the ante around 10:00 a.m., and started to run from one side of a large pine to another, thereby getting it swaying in the breeze. The tree eventually snapped off, causing 50′ of pine tree to breach the “no-man’s land” between the trees and SS’s house, creating a bridge to Squirrel Sniper’s roof.

“The damn squirrels just poured in,” said Squirrel Sniper, “they was all over the place, chewing holes in my roof and soffits, trashing my lawn furniture and gazebo, and they even went so far as to break my BBQ, smash my wife’s flower pots and crush my son’s electric motorcycle. These animals were… well, animals. I went for my gun, but didn’t know what to do once I had it. I couldn’t open the door and let them in, and I didn’t want to just shoot through the side of the house or roof, since it was lookin to rain.”

According to Mr. Sniper, the squirrels chewed through the phone line and cut off access to 911 just prior to taking out the trees. Once the trees went down, making a bridge to the roof, the squirrels were all over the house in seconds, like flies on a squirrel carcass.

You can see where the phone line is down in the left of this picture.

“The Misses and little-uns were huddled in the kitchen crying and carryin on after the tree hit the house, and you could hear the critters a clawin and a chawin on the house trying to get to us,” Said Squirrel Sniper. “It looked like they was going to get us, so we headed for the bunker in the basement. We got the vault door togged down just as the first squirrels breached the ceiling in the living room up stairs.”

“It was terrifying”, sniffled Mrs. Sniper, as she sat in the corner rocking her children. “Them squirrels was a makin a racket, howlin and scratchin at the door to get us, when the National Guard showed up. You shoulda heard the shootin and screamin goin on, It’s going to take weeks to get the blood off the floor and the fur out of the light fixtures. I just feel glad the whole thing is over and sad about those National Guard boys who didn’t make it; they sure was brave.”

Mr. sniper also thanked the National Guard for saving his family and vowed to take the fight back to the squirrels once he and his family are back on their feet. For those who want to help out, Remington 223 ballistic tip ammunition and 17HMR ballistic tip ammo can be sent to Squirrel Sniper’s non-profit educational program REDNECKS ( Reeducate Every Dumbass liberal, we Need Even City dudes Killin Squirrels).

Seeing the way this American family fought back against superior odds, cunning and intellect, it makes me proud to be an American (and ashamed of our national education system).

Ratk Iller

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My wife called me the other morning, after I posted the “God Hates Squirrels too” post and told me that another squirrel was squashed flat on top of the other one. (A little overlapping.)

She’s like, Ohhhhhh, it was loving it’s mate.

I told her, “UH, NO! It was having a snack!” Which of course is disgusting but true, “Squirrels eat Squirrels”.

I’m not really sure why people don’t believe that squirrels eat each other; cause they do. When squirrel shooting, you can pop a squirrel out in the open, and then wait and shoot the squirrels that come to feed on it’s carcass. (Unless their just collecting it’s nuts… eweee. LOL)

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Have any of you squirrel hunters ever wanted to talk to your friends while you were shooting squirrels; if for no other reason than to just rub it in? But you couldn’t talk on the phone and shoot at the same time? Well, now you can, and it’s cheap!

The guy (me, LOL) over at HandsFreeBluetoothHeadset.com is selling hands free bluetooth headsets that work with any cell phone. And, the price is crazy cheap… Only $3.99 plus $2.00 shipping and handling.

So, if you need to get a gift for someone for Christmas, a birthday or just because you love them, you need to head over there and check it out.

(This is funnier than crap and you need to send the link to everyone you know. LOL)

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So, as of yesterday, I’m no longer a criminal. I bet you thought I was an upstanding middle aged guy without a criminal record didn’t you? But, up until yesterday, according to the state of Washington, I was a criminal.

I bet you’re dying to hear how I became a criminal, then got my record expunged, aren’t you?

Well, sit right back and I’ll tell the tail, the tail of a fateful trip. The story of a fateful voyage aboard a tiny ship. (Yes, I know tail should really be spelled tale.)

It wasn’t really a ship, it was a pickup truck, and there were only 2 of us, not 7, but you get the picture. Right?
(more…)

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OK, some stuff just makes you laugh, especially when it’s first thing in the morning and has to do with wiener dogs. Frankie, over at VegPlot has a dilemma. The squirrels are eating his
Chestnuts, and his wife says she’ll divorce him if he gets a wiener dog, which Wikipedia says is the King of Squirrel Dogs. LOL

Of course, if you read the Wikipedia post, it looks like the wiener dog is actually the meat of choice.

Squirrels can often become prey to different dogs that have the speed and agility to catch them. Dachshunds are among some of these. Its light red or pink flesh has only a slight game taste.

So, Frankie is asking for other suggestions for a squirrel dog, instead of a, as he puts it, sausage dog…

My vote, of course, would be to make his wife chase the squirrels until she let him have his weenie dog. It’s hard to be depressed when you own something that’s so goofy looking that it makes you laugh just to look at it.

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Bob Rich over at Rimfirehunting.blogspot.com said I was a little hard on the DEP Biologist, so here’s my small retraction…. “Sorry” DEP Guy… (while looking down and scuffing my toe in the dust.) LOL

Bob said that:

NOTE: In all fairness, the DEP Biologist did get back to me and he has always responded to my letters. It was the Sergeant that simply didn’t believe me. Here’s what the biologist wrote:

For those of you who haven’t read Bob’s cougar story, go to http://rimfirehunting.blogspot.com/2007/09/hidden-dangers-at-roraback.html and read it.

In the post I did on Bob’s cougar story and my wolf story, I didn’t mention that the cattle rancher who gave me permission to hunt on their property told me that there had been two cougar sightings on their property the day before, within 10 minutes of each other, 3 miles apart. You might think a cougar could do 3 miles in 10 minutes, but not when one mile is straight up over a mountain, and another mile is straight down the other side. (The other issue is, “if you see one, there’s 10 more watching you”.)

She also told me that the year before, they had had a bowhunter come in all white and shaky and tell them that a cougar had been stalking him, and that he had turned around and seen it just in time to get up from where he was sitting and attack it first. (Yelling, waiving his arms etc…) He told the lady that owns the ranch that he would never bow hunt again without taking a pistol or rifle with him, even if he got a ticket for it.

I also play poker with a guy who says he has been stalked by a cougar three times in the Blue Mountains of Oregon. Twice, when elk hunting, he has followed his own trail back to camp in the snow and seen cougar tracks covering his. Another time, when he stopped to use the outhouse at Target Meadows, above the Tollgate ranger station, he came out of the outhouse to see that a cougar had walked around the outhouse three times when he was in there; it had just started to snow as he left his truck.

We also lost an elderly man, who was a diabetic, in that same area this year. He left camp to pick huckleberries, and just disappeared. One of the search guys said that he ran into a cougar 20 feet off the trail, about 100 yards from the guys trailer. He also said there was a ton of bear sign too. (The whole thing freaks me out a little since I got lost up there once when I was a kid…. Overnight! Ahhhh!)

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I love the government! No, really. (sarcasm) They are there to protect us from all the dangers that lurk in the dark and to tell us of the dangers before we can hurt ourselves. You know what I’m talking about, you’ve all seen it in action, the “Smoking Will Kill You” stickers, the “Don’t Dry Your Hair In The Tub” labels on electric hair dryers and other such crap. Why just the other day I saw a sign that said the road was “Slippery When Wet”. WOW, I didn’t know that.

But, there is another side to your friendly, “We Just Want To Protect You”, government. These are the losers that work for the Wildlife branches of government. Here are a couple of examples of what I’m talking about:

I grew up in Oregon and have been to Alaska, Canada, and every other Western state. I hunt and fish, camp in the woods and spent 3 years logging fresh out of high school. During that time, I’ve seen a ton of wildlife, including bear, dear, elk, coyote, raccoon, skunk and wolf. I added wolf in there because I saw one running down the road this year 6 miles outside Unity, Oregon. It was a big grey wolf and spent at least 10 seconds running 10 yards down the road in front of The Verminator’s truck, in which I was a passenger.

Now, I mentioned that I’ve seen coyote and bears, just so that you know, that I know, what they look like. Well, when I emailed the Oregon Department of Whatever, that is tracking the Grey Wolf migration from Idaho into Oregon, they said, “It must have been a coyote”. Did I mention that I’ve seen a coyote before? Lots of them? Well, I got pissed off, and called him, and told him I’ve lived here my whole life and wasn’t from New York. At that point, I finally got him to listen to me, but it was like pulling teeth and I never heard back from him or any of his fellow government employees.

On that note, I’ll lead into the reason I’m writing this, and that is because the same idiots who work for the Oregon State Department of Wolf Watching or Whatever, also work in Connecticut. Read this story posted by Bob Rich about how he saw a Cougar in the Roraback WMA of Connecticut, and talked to a guy who ran into a pack of coyotes the week before, but the idiot DEP biologist he talked to blew the whole thing off, even though the area is used by families with small children.

The reason I’m posting this is because, as squirrel hunters, we need to remember we aren’t the only “THINGS” hunting in the woods and fields. Just because you haven’t heard about the 22 mountain lions that live where you’re hunting, and your local government says there isn’t anything in the woods to be afraid of, doesn’t mean you don’t need to be prepared for the wolves, mountain lions and bears before they decide to snack on you while your hunting. In other words, “BE PREPARED PEOPLE”, even if you think it’s not going to happen to you.

SquirrelSniper

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