I Married A Killer

I was working on a bunch of phone websites today (did you guys know I’m a web nerd and do this crap for a living?), and my wife came down into the dungeon and said she was going to take the dog to the vet and pick up the kids from school.

I mumbled something appropriate like, “whatever”, and off she went.

2 minutes later, she calls me on my cellphone and yells “I killed a squirrel”!

“OK, good for you”, I say.

She’s like, “no, really, it ran under the van a couple of blocks from the house, over by the park, and it’s squished”!

“So pull over and get a picture, you know that a dead squirrel is the best kind of squirrel”, I tell her, “and I can put the picture on the website and write off your counseling as work related”.

“This isn’t funny A**hole, It’s gross, and for that remark you can come down here and take your own damn picture”.

“Oh com’mon, it’s funny and you know it. You’re just grossed out because you weren’t expecting it. It happened to me when I whacked that one on the way to school the other day, remember?”

“OK, your forgiven, but it’s still gross.”

“Give me a break, at least I’ve never been rat stomping after a kegger. You can’t tell me running over a stupid squirrel in your van is more gross than stomping rats in a wheat field half drunk off your ass.”


She must have been too traumatized to finish the conversation. LOL

My wife has always been a rat killer. Now she’s a squirrel killer too. Welcome to the club…


One Response to “I Married A Killer”

  1. Ranger Man says:

    Yo bro, your site is outta sight. You sick squirrel slaying animal, you. I gotta quote this post in my own blog, using it for a post scheduled for Saturday. I’ll provide a sweet link back, of course.
    - Ranger Man


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.